How to get a Regency beach body

It’s summertime and that means feeling like you have to conform to other people’s standards of beauty as you’re bombarded with blogs telling you how wrong your life is. So here’s another one to add to the bonfire of bad writing.

I’m here to tell you how you, yes you with the Colin Firth obsession, can have the beach body Lizzie Bennet and her ilk strived for.

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1. Eat what you want.

Seriously, no one is going to see an inch of your torso or thighs because you’ll be covered by your Regency bathing outfit. Once you step out of the water and into your bathing machine you’ll only be seen by some servants who just really don’t care about the fabric sticking to your wet body because life sucks for the working class.

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2. Do excessive amounts of reading, sewing and piano practice.

The only part of your body that will be seen by those around you will be your face and arms. Keep your fine eyes sharp with some reading and your arms nice and toned with a whole bunch of sewing and pianoforte practice.

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3. Practice walking up and down stairs.

You don’t want to pull a Louisa Musgrove. Make sure you practice carefully putting one foot in front of the other and shifting weight from each as needed. Also, make yourself knowledgable about all stairways with ample railings and safety nets.

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4. Protect what skin may be showing.

You don’t want freckles, so invest in an obnoxiously large hat (hey, why not make your own so you can work those arm muscles?) and some long gloves or a shawl. Keep your skin completely covered. That’s the only solution because it’s the Regency era and they don’t have the pure gold of sunblock options that we do now.

5. Don’t shave your legs.

Not only do you not want to have to deal the straight-razors OR Georgian waxing (also, hello, no ibuprofen yet), but no one is going to see your legs. If someone happens to see your ankle then you’re ruined and he’s a cad, so hair isn’t going to make a difference.

– Admin B

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14 thoughts on “How to get a Regency beach body

    1. Those are the original steps on the Cobb at Lyme Regis, so pretty much the ones Austen was writing about, however in the movie they very sensibly used the more modern ones that are wider and more even. I took one look at them and declined trying to climb up them. Terrifying!

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